Blind Hope
by Hogwarts474479
Summary: Long before Tris and Tobias had gotten over the wall, there had been an girl who wished to do the same thing. After sixteen years in isolation, Sheila puts her plan to escape in motion. But things don't go as planned. This is my first fanfic, so feel free to leave feedback or constructive critisism in the comments!


ONE

The sunlight startled me. It was so bright. For a second I had to cover my eyes with my hand, but when my eyes finally adjusted, I enjoyed it immensely. I hadn't been outside the Erudite headquarters for months. I am comforted by the fresh air, filling my lungs to the brim.

After quite a bit of walking, I now stand in the middle of a sea of people. They talk and laugh, comforted by the presence of their friends and family. But I am alone here. I'm the strange Erudite girl who never leaves the safety of her faction. So how could I have any friends? I mean, even if I did go out sometimes, I still wouldn't have any friends. So why on Earth am I complaining?

I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the shiny glass of one of the buildings nearby. My curly hair is twisted into a low bun–I still don't understand how I managed to tame it, but I'm extremely proud of it. I am wearing blue, like all the others from my faction. Even though my skin is dark, my eyes are even darker, nearly black. Sometimes they remind me of two swivelling, never-ending pools of darkness. Their symmetry is disrupted by a single streak of gold in my left eye. I hate that streak. It is a constant reminder to what my parents have done to me.

Great. Gloomy thoughts on a gloomy day.

I look around, noticing that all people wearing blue are also wearing glasses. Of course they are. Statistically, only 61 percent of the population truly do _need _them, but almost everyone from Erudite wears them anyways. To seem more intelligent I guess. I honestly don't understand that need to prove yourself to the people around you. If they like you, good, if not, too bad.

Maybe this is the reason I don't have any friends...

The thing annoying me though is that I've never noticed this before. It makes me understand that I've really been isolated, even though it doesn't feel like it. It was all I'd ever known, so I accepted it as my life.

Our blue crowd soon mixes with reds and yellows, greys, whites and blacks. The loud noise of all the voices around me is overwhelming and I have to pause for a second. I take a few deep breaths to calm the buzzing of my brain.

We are all led through the doors to the Hub. Like lambs to slaughter, I think to myself. Suddenly all the talk subsides, becoming murmurs and whispers, finally fading away completely. Everyone knows where to go. The colourful crowd is broken apart, all the colours finding their way away from each other, seeking out the people from their own faction. I hesitantly sit down on one of the chairs reserved for the Erudite, and the ceremony begins.

It is Erudite's turn to host this year and our leader, Jonathan Avery walks up to the podium to begin his speech. I don't listen. I let the words slide through my brain without taking a closer look at them.

I spot my parent's heads in the first row, their backs straight, not a hair out of place. They are so sure of themselves. Of my choice. They shouldn't be.

A sudden wave of fear and doubt washes over me. What will they do when I leave them? They sure won't let me go that easily. They need me. If I choose another faction, years of experiments are going to go to waste. But that is something I can't help them with. I won't let them keep using me. I've had enough.

Jonathan continues his speech, and a few words catch my attention.

"This year, there has been a small change for the Amity initiates. All of you who choose Amity to be your faction will spend the first three weeks at Erudite. During those three weeks you will be learning the theory of how to grow healthy and wholesome crops." he smiles. "This will hopefully heighten the nutritional value of our food, while also making your hard work lighter and easier to carry into effect. We at Erudite are very happy to host such wonderful and happy new members of Amity."

I can feel my heart stop.

_No, no, no, no, no._

Why would they do this? How? It is completely unreasonable. They'll gain nothing. Why waste time teaching farming theory to a bunch of teenagers? Especially when there are much more important things to do?

I look down, and by seeing my parent's satisfied faces I understand.

Three weeks are all they need. Jonathan is turning 55 in one week, meaning that he goes into retirement. Which in turn means there will be a need for a new Erudite leader.

The leaders of Erudite are not selected because of their likability, votes or age. The "smartest" candidate with the score takes the position. And with smartest I mean the most strategically–thinking–with–a–leader–brain–smart.

This is what my parents have dedicated their lives to. Producing the most strategically–thinking–with–a–leader–brain–candidate in history. Someone who they can control and manipulate.

Yep. That's me.

And they knew. They had somehow learned about my plans and decided to stop them. But how? I haven't told anyone. Not that I have anyone to tell things, except Kale. But he lives in another continent and has no way to contact anyone else here. Well, that's not entirely true. He could probably hack into the computer system, displaying anything he wanted on every screen in the city. Not he would ever do that. He wouldn't betray me like that. So how?

That question burns in my mind like a living flame, but I push it back, desperately trying to find another option, ticking them of the list in my head. I can't go to Amity. Not Abnegation either. They never even go near the wall. Candor is out of the question. Anyone seeing me doing anything suspicious will not keep it to themselves. There is only one left. Dauntless.

It can work. I know the initiation process. I can pass it. I know the bases of fighting and can have been through mental trials for a lifetime. As long as I keep my rank lower than the top five, but still pass the initiation, I can get posted as a guard at the wall. No one will notice one missing guard.

I release a breath I didn't even realise I was holding. I have a plan, and everything is going to be all right. I'm going to get away from this damned place.

Jonathan finally finishes his speech and starts calling out names. One after another, all the sixteen-year-olds stand up. They walk down to the dais to make the decision which will determine the rest of their lives. Many are scared, their hands shaking as they cut their palm; some others hesitate, not knowing where to let the blood drop. But there are some, confident in their choice, making it proudly and returning to their families, new or old. I wish I felt the same way. But my future is unclear. The small part I do have planned is foggy and made up in two minutes. Uncertainty is the one thing I hate the most. Trust me, I really hate it.

I watch as a young Abnegation girl steps on to the podium, accepting the knife handed to her. She has a slight smile on her lips. She barely flinches when she cuts her palm and lets her blood fall into the splintered glass of Candor. As always, the chosen faction erupts in cheers and shouts. The girl all but runs to her new faction with a grin plastered on her face.

Names, names, and more names. I grow more and more impatient with every second passing. There are roughly 125 children choosing a faction this year. I knew it was going to take a while for me to be called to the dais, as they read from the bottom to the top, but it shouldn't have been _this_ long.

"Sheila Deene" Jonathan finally calls out.

_Okay_.

I take a deep breath, standing up. My heart hammers against my chest, making me afraid that everyone can hear it. I shouldn't be this nervous. I have absolutely no reason to be. None at all. The hall is exceptionally silent, though. You could probably hear a needle fall. Was it really this quiet when the others rose up?

I start descending the stairs, every step echoing through the room. A cold droplet of sweat trickles down my spine, and I shiver. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, a hundred stares burning into my neck. My feet meet the floor of the dais, my black boots in stark contrast to the shiny white marble. Even years of isolation could not take away my preference for comfortable shoes. And it looks like I might need them now.

Jonathan hands me a knife, which I take, trying to still my shaking hands. I turn to face the five bowls. I hadn't seen them before. Most people had, or at least knew what was in every bowl from the stories of others. But me, I was seeing them for the first time. There were grey, flat stones for Abnegation, and fruitful soil for Amity. Clear water for Erudite, shattered glass for Candor, and burning coals for Dauntless. I stand there for a moment, imagining my blood falling into the blue, crystalline water. It swivels for a second, then disappears, leaving the water as clear as it was before. Would it be that bad? Would my parents really use me as a puppet to reach their goal?

Yes. They would. And I have no doubt they would dispose of me without a moment of hesitation. If I had already given them what they wanted, that is. The thought fuels my anger and I put the knife to my palm, making a smooth, clean cut. Dark blood wells up from the gash, sliding down my wrist and arm. My eyes find the Dauntless, all in black, anticipation in their faces. I place my hand over their bowl, letting the blood drop down, the coals sizzling with every drop. It's done.

It's done and nothing can take it back. I thought I would be calm. Calm knowing that this destroys my parents' plan, or at least gives me some more time. But the only thing I feel is dread.

I swallow hard, starting to make my way towards the Dauntless. Their faces are jubilant and their cheers deafening. Many shake my hand, welcoming me, but I keep my head down, not meeting their gaze. The Dauntless can be just as cruel as they are nice and energetic, that's a fact. But at the moment they don't seem to have any reason to hurt me, so slowly I let my guard down. For the first time in my life, I let myself be a part of something, and the feeling is incredible. I feel a smile on my face and for the first time in a long while, I laugh.


End file.
